Learn English Faster with Laughter
Captain Britlish: What appears to be the problem, Mrs Gusty?
Mrs Gusty: Sorry, Doctor?
Captain Britlish: I said, what appears to be the problem, Mrs Gusty?
Mrs Gusty: I’m almost too embarrassed to tell you, Doctor.
Captain Britlish: You can tell me, Mrs Gusty. I am a doctor.
Mrs Gusty: It’s wind, Doctor.
Captain Britlish: Wind, Mrs Gusty?
Mrs Gusty: The truth is, Doctor, that I keep breaking wind at the most inconvenient moments. Mind you, I’m happy to say that when I do break wind they’re quite silent and they don’t smell at all. I’m sure nobody notices.
In fact, as I came into your office a moment ago, I broke wind and you didn’t notice, did you, Doctor? Nobody notices, but it’s embarrassing nevertheless, and I’d like you to do something about it.
Captain Britlish: Yes, I see, Mrs Gusty. Now, I want you to take this prescription to the chemist and he’ll give you some tablets. You’re to take one before every meal and come back to see me in a week. Is that clear?
Mrs Gusty: Oh, thank you so much, Doctor.
Captain Britlish: Goodbye, Mrs Gusty. Oh, and leave the door open, would you?
A WEEK LATER
Captain Britlish: Ah, Mrs Gusty. Do come in, won’t you? Have you been taking the tablets as I instructed?
Mrs Gusty: Exactly as you said, Doctor. But I do have to say that I’ve got a bone to pick with you!
Captain Britlish: Really, Mrs Gusty. And what might that be?
Mrs Gusty: Those tablets you gave me haven’t done the slightest bit of good. I’m breaking wind just as often as before, Doctor, but now they’re incredibly loud and I’ve no doubt that everybody notices now. It’s no small blessing that they’re still odourless.
There, see what your silly tablets have done to me?
Captain Britlish: Now, please calm down, Mrs Gusty. Now that we’ve sorted out your hearing problem, I’m going to prescribe something to bring back your sense of smell.
Wind is a polite term for intestinal gas, or to give it its technical name, flatulence.
To break wind is to release the intestinal gas. Another term for this is farting, or to fart.
A prescription is a note from a doctor instructing a chemist to supply a particular medicine or drug to a patient. Many students confuse prescription with receipt. A receipt is a piece of paper you get from a shop detailing your purchase.
The chemist is the British term for a pharmacist. The old term for this was apothecary.
To have a bone to pick with someone means that you have a problem with something they have done and that you would like to talk to them about it.
To not have done the slightest bit of good is another way of saying no good at all.
When Mrs Gusty says it’s no small blessing, she means that it is extremely fortunate.
Odourless means to be without a smell. An odour is a bad smell.
The phrasal verb to sort out means to deal successfully with a problem or situation.
To calm down is to not get upset by something.
Things to notice
Did you notice the word fart hidden in the title of the video?
Did you notice that Captain Britlish has to ask Mrs Gusty the same question twice, as she was deaf?
Did you notice that Mrs Gusty admits to having farted as she entered the office the first time, and that Captain Britlish asks her to keep the door open, to let the smell out?
Gusty is a term for wind that blows strongly but intermittently, as on a gusty day. It seemed like the perfect name for a lady so troubled by the wind.